Voice by Wayne C Hopkins - Thriller - A special forces soldier finds herself in the heart of an enemy headquarters after the team's covert entry is compromised. 105 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Dear Wayne,
there's great intentions of drama suspense and intrigue here but the cast is so large. I guess it's a tad easier when seeing the different actors on screen but a scene with 3 named characters and 3 conspirators is tough to follow. They are really foil characters, so this could be simplified. To then add "An alias" your starting to create a situation where the viewer doesn't know who or what to believe and will tune out. You sense this as you end with ~ 300 words of exposition on screen by way of explanation. If the thesis is double cross and misinformation, you could do this with a core cast. With so many scenes introducing new characters (who seemingly quickly get eliminated) this detracts from your strong heroine Sabrina Maguire who is almost relegated to playing a bit part. All best JtF