[url=http://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/HAIL-MARY-Final Draft.pdf]Hail Mary[/url] by C. M. Albrecht - Drama, Comedy - When a woman's husband, she and a couple of old girl friends hold a wake...sort of. 90 pages - pdf, format 8)

Don, the link isn't working.

You can copy from the http to the .pdf and paste it in the address bar, it will open up the script.

(sigh)  How did I make it this far in life???  Thanks Lightfoot.

Now to the script.  "Based on his novel."  Your novel?  The novel with the same title?  May want to be a tad more clear though I may be overthinking it.

Don't need the title reiterated again in the first page.

FADE IN usually goes on the left if my memory serves me correctly.

No description of the room we're in.  A line or two on the setting will do wonders on the visualization as well as a glimpse into the character of whom the room belongs.

Not a fan of the voice overs, perhaps from my personal bias against them.  Slashing them out, we have a man with an optimistic glow about him, ready to take on the day...minus the enchilada stain on his shirt.  To me this would be much rewarding to watch as we slowly discover what he's optimistic about.

"...deep red, not overly-assertive tie."  Not sure what this means.

That's all I've got for now.  Best of luck.

-Johnny

I appreciate your comments. Okay, I'll try to explain myself, the way I see it.
First, maybe I'm wrong, being relatively new at this biz, but from what I've seen and read, I tend to look at a screenplay more as a blueprint, or template, for a film. Clearly, screenplays are only a beginning. Once the director gets hold of one, the entire focus and many other aspects can and probably will be changed before the finished product hits the screen. Once the film goes into production, it's the director's film, not the screenwriter's.
I wanted to keep this at 90 pages, so I thought that if it ever gets anyplace, the director and set decorator would decide just how to decorate the Drummond bedroom etc., based upon Cray's pay grade and so forth. So I didn't want to add anything that wasn't absolutely essential.
When I put at the beginning, "based upon his novel", that's exactly what i meant. It's coming out this month in print and on Kindle, etc., and I was hoping to get a bump from one or the other.
I'm not sure about the lips. I was just trying to get across the idea that Cara is the office tramp and very good at what she does (which has nothing to do with being a secretary). In one of her first films, Marilyn Monroe was hired as private secretary by Charles Coburn. When he asked her to get somebody to take a letter for him, Cary Grant looked hat him questioningly. Mr. Coburn shrugged and said, "Well, anybody can type." ;D