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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Drama Scripts  /  Harmony Rising
Posted by: Don, December 28th, 2016, 12:13pm
Harmony Rising by Adam Dave - Drama - After a health scare, a self-titled "junk food junkie" and young, single mom learns about the connection between diet and disease and reforms her ways while shaking up the food industry. 110 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: PrussianMosby, January 6th, 2017, 10:09am; Reply: 1
Prowling around the forum for something to read, found this,

quite up my alley,

great title
logline's concept is sellable as shit


read five pages. For a drama - I'm hooked.

You need to show up and engage, say who you are and what you want... if you like exchange of knowledge, people's expertise or make simple conversation.

Although, I can imagine you go your way anyway, it's strong. Best of luck
Posted by: Marcela, January 8th, 2017, 5:09pm; Reply: 2
Adam, I read about six pages. I really like your style of writing. For example the very first sentence is great.
I got a little confused about her UTI, she seemed to go to some sexual health clinic but that's not where you would go with UTI?
Also, she seems to be drinking milkshakes, but I don't have milkshakes down as a typical junk food.
Overall I am pretty intrigued, hopefully I will have time to read more later.
Posted by: AdamDave, January 8th, 2017, 6:33pm; Reply: 3
Thank you for your kind words. Walk-in clinics can handle a variety of health concerns. hopefully your view on milk shakes will change by the end of the story if you get a chance to finish reading.
:)
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