Fast Food Visit by Colin Sharp - Short, Comedy - A McDonald's member of staff has a hard time getting served in a rival restaurant. 2 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Ahoy Colin -- I was just looking for something to read casually over dinner, not really intending to comment or anything... comedy is hard. Different things are funny to different people. If you try to make it "more obvious" it clubs you to death. I think the tone is right on.

No, I didn't find it piss-my-panties funny, but you did illicit a chuckle or two from me. All the best. :)-A

Hey Colin,

I love the setup and loved the Wanted Posters - the addition of Piers Morgan was very funny.

A huge undertaking at the end with the final reveal. Wasn't quite expecting that... :o
Just change Maccies thrown to Macca's throne.

Incidentally our Burger King here is called Hungry Jacks. At one point they introduced a burger called a Big Jack (it was tastier than the Big Mac). Macca's sued them and they had to remove it from the menu. Oh, what a sad day that was.

Quoted Text Ahoy Colin -- I was just looking for something to read casually over dinner, not really intending to comment or anything... comedy is hard. Different things are funny to different people. If you try to make it "more obvious" it clubs you to death. I think the tone is right on. No, I didn't find it piss-my-panties funny, but you did illicit a chuckle or two from me. All the best. -A

Ahoy, Ghostie/Ghost - Thanks for the read. Pleased it got a chuckle. A chuckle will do. I'll take a chuckle!

"piss-my-panties" is a very high level, lol. Reminded me of that Monty Python "The Joke" sketch - where the jokes so funny, anybody that that reads it dies of laughter - I love that sketch, that's possible "piss-my-pants" funny :)

Hey LC,

Cheers for taking a look - chuffed you liked the setup and wanted posters :)

Thanks for the Macca's spot - Maccies is totally uk and also reads as a totally different sounding word!

Quoted Text Incidentally our Burger King here is called Hungry Jacks. At one point they introduced a burger called a Big Jack (it was tastier than the Big Mac). Macca's sued them and they had to remove it from the menu. Oh, what a sad day that was.

No wonder Ronald's banned, seems like he started it! A bit of a dick, lol

I chucked at the Piers Morgan joke, but that was it, unfortunately.

Keep it up.

Thanks for taking a look, Stoney.