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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  September '23 OWC  /  Sympathy for the Devil - OWC
Posted by: Don, September 10th, 2023, 12:48pm
Sympathy for the Devil by Can't get the song out of my head. - Satan has a new directive from above... and he doesn't like it.  Short, Comedy
Posted by: Matthew Taylor, September 10th, 2023, 4:44pm; Reply: 1
Hi writer

Fantastic song choice.

This sort of comedy is not my thing at all but I found the writing to be great and very easy to read and did make the whole experience a pleasure. So even though I don’t like the story, I really like your style.

All the best
Posted by: Arundel, September 11th, 2023, 4:49am; Reply: 2
Witty dialog between Satan and The Reaper and some other scenes were clever and funny as well. But that song... eesh, on a loop. I felt for Satan and the audience lol. Just kidding. It's fine the first handful of times you hear it, but... I guess I've heard it in too many movies now. Anyway, nice song choice for a title. Good job.
Posted by: bert, September 11th, 2023, 9:40am; Reply: 3
Oops, this is actually the best song of the batch.  I erred in an earlier review, glancing too quickly across the titles.

This writer has a style that I enjoy.  Quick throw-away lines that -- while not entirely filmable -- still manage to flesh out their vision. There is a subtlety to the humor going on here. But then, all of a sudden, the subtlety is lost with a far-too-literal use of the song in question. I really enjoyed the first two-thirds of this one.
Posted by: Gary in Houston, September 11th, 2023, 3:24pm; Reply: 4
First of all, I enjoyed this, it's my type of humor.  A little bit depraved, a little bit deadpan, a little bit visual humor.  I can tell this is a British/Australian effort just by the spelling of tons so I can see where the humor comes from.

Like Bert, I think I was best with this until he got to the part where he performs the title song.  I don't know that referencing the song word for word helped that much, but I'm willing to overlook it just because I like the rest. Good effort on this one.
Posted by: AnthonyCawood, September 11th, 2023, 6:31pm; Reply: 5
A bit heavy-handed on the CAPS initially but that seems to settle down.

Song choice is good, and obviously fits well with the locale ;-)

Not sure why the Figure needs to then transitions to Reaps, can't they be Reaps from the start? Did I miss something?

Storywise, weaves the song in, funny banter in parts, not quite my bag humour wise but I liked it.
Posted by: kcranford, September 11th, 2023, 6:40pm; Reply: 6
“Reaps”. Great renaming of a character. Loved it. I can’t say the story is my brand of humor, but it made me laugh anyway. I even found myself feeling sorry for the Devil (is that a sin??). Overall, we’ll written, creative and entertaining. Great entry, writer. Thanks for sharing!
Posted by: steven8, September 12th, 2023, 1:53am; Reply: 7
I have to ask, was that Al Bundy they kept referencing?   :P   Great concept.  Terrific imagery.
Posted by: Stoneyscripts, September 12th, 2023, 12:08pm; Reply: 8
Great song choice. Like the purgatory opening. Your writing style is good, but when Satan continues to speak after an action scene he is continuous, same applies for aside, otherwise we get lost in the mix.

Hitler sitting on Churchill's arse gave me fits.
Posted by: PKCardinal, September 12th, 2023, 5:10pm; Reply: 9
Dear god, the visuals. Just too much in all the best ways.

Nothing more to add.

Shaking my head while smiling...
Paul
Posted by: Heretic, September 13th, 2023, 1:02pm; Reply: 10
South Park, Devil May Care, and a few others may have beaten this to a fair bit of the style and a good number of the jokes, but it's still funny. Excellent descriptions of Hell and its denizens, some funny lines, solid writing throughout. "Reaps" is very funny.

The idea of Hell as performative drudge work for Satan is funny and could yield a fuller story about Satan's life. Would be nice to see the story of Satan actually trying to make a change in some way. Essentially this is a story about status quo, and it'd be fun to see him try to break out.

Thanks for the laughs.
Posted by: Rob, September 13th, 2023, 9:31pm; Reply: 11
I like that the CD player was built into the cave. I'm not sure why the FIGURE couldn't just be identified as REAPS from the start of the script. It took me a long time to realize that it was Reaps and not Re-aps. What a weird name, I told myself, Re-aps. And then it dawned on me. I guess I had a hard time following this one in general.
Posted by: Kevin_S. (Guest), September 14th, 2023, 12:04am; Reply: 12
Writer,

I enjoyed your script.  I haven't heard this song in a long time.  I didn't notice anything I could point to in your writing.   I laughed when Satan threatened Adolf with Churchill.   It was clever to get the lost souls entranced and loving eternal life with the rock concert only to see their bubble is about to burst.  He is the master of manipulation.  Well done.  
Posted by: D.A.Banaszak, September 14th, 2023, 6:46pm; Reply: 13
I got the jokes and I could see the direction you were going in. It’s hard to be funny in a script. The humor here would be dependent on the performance of the actors.

The minor format issues have already been addressed. I also had a problem with some of  the slang names (like Reaps) and figuring out who they were.

In my opinion, the Devil would need an over-the-top performance from somebody like Jim Carey to make this work. Otherwise, the frustration and grief suffered by the Devil wouldn’t be enough by itself. I did find this to be a fun read though, with a creative interpretation of the afterlife.

Good choice of a song.
Posted by: ghost and_ghostie gal, September 14th, 2023, 7:37pm; Reply: 14
Writer,

Not here to debate any finer points, only here to say I thought this was very good for the most part.

Fun, visual writing, but the humor didn't land for me.

All the best,

Ghost
Posted by: SAC, September 15th, 2023, 11:51am; Reply: 15
Writer,

Liked this one. Could have been a little more. A little over the top, imo, would have worked nicely here. It was already pretty crazy so why not? Anyway, I wasn’t a fan of the ending with the song itself playing and Satan lip syncing. I definitely think you could have been a bit more original here, and that’s what holds this one back.

Steve
Posted by: Abe from LA, September 15th, 2023, 6:23pm; Reply: 16
Only so-so for me. The writing was fine, the setup okay, while the song choice
great. Something about the story didn't jive for me. I guess the story felt
like it was covering old ground and not going any further. Didn't care for the
ending, but that's me.
I've never been big on stories, especially black comedies, involving Satan. I'll
just say the writing style was a plus.
Congrats on taking part.
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