Snooker Patrol by John Stone - Short, Comedy, Tragic Comedy - Snooker cops tally up their scores, during an unusual night shift. 8 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Nice little twist. The dialogue was good. I don't have much to critique. The only thing I'd ask is why didn't either Tudor or Nathan recognise the reg plate of the Porsche, which I presume belonged to one of their own sons? Also, on page 6 you refer to 'Neil' parking the car, when I'm guessing you meant Nathan.

As much as I like it as it is, I do think it could stand to be expanded into something more substantial.

Hi and thanks for your comments. They stole the Porsche which I have expanded upon in a revised version which hasn’t been uploaded yet. It is a short so yeah. I have also corrected that little character typo. Cheers Greg.

Very nicely done, John. Great banter. I actually gasped at the final twist - did not see it coming.

Thanks Libby. I have updated this script but Don hasn’t uploaded it yet.  The 2nd draft is more detailed but plot is the same.