Dead Air by Les Thompson - Drama - A murder mystery set in an Australian regional radio station. A popular morning host who creates controversy falls to his death down a steep staircase leaving nothing behind Dead Air for his listeners.  - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Good morning. I'm going to read it over time. It's a busy two months coming up, but will fit it in. Just some quick notes that don't need page numbers going to it.

It looks like you have added some elements of a shooting script to this by numbering your scene locations. Save this copy, so if you need the number version you have it, but start another that has the numbers removed for easier reading.

Create a title page and dump all the fat at the top of the page and simply begin it with a "fade in:". People are just custom to reading it that way and will get right into the story.

You have double and triple spaces between dialogues or actions, and it just needs to be single-spaced. I'd give page numbers but every few pages you will see it.

You have parentheticals flushed left under character's names. Center them under the names and edit them to be shorter or use it in the action description. Simplify it. less is more, that kind of thing. Page 18 is the first one. The "(annoyed)" is too left.

                           CALLER (V.O.)
(annoyed)
             To the family next door, of course!

I'll get back when I can. This is just a quick note with some basics.

Oh, something I just learned too, use only day or night in location slugs, if it is morning, sunset, full moon, or whatever use that in the description.