Get Out Of The Kitchen by Linda Johnston - Comedy - This mockumentary follows quirky and highly competitive Pickleball teams, competing in a national tournament on the Colorado western slope.  Who will achieve the gold medal?  Will it be the Vail Aces who will win at any cost, the player whose fancy footwork defies logic, the pot smoking ex-jock hometown favorites, or the Grande Dame of the courts and her donut junkie husband?  A camera crew follows along to make an inspirational film, but will it be a motivational force or a cautionary tale? 90 pages - pdf format

New writer interested in feedback on this work, please be nice :)

Cool script!  Lots of fun action with the pickleball/competition component.  And some great laughs, esp. Fred the announcer, the PDA couple with the dog, the player with the mismatched feet- great stuff!  Wonder if a pickle ball organization would want to finance this film?

Curious whether you're more interested in kind of introducing/promoting pickle ball or in the comedy aspect. As it is, there's a lot of explaining about pickle ball and action connected to the points in the games, etc.  Some laughs here and there but it seemed to me heavier on the ins and outs of the game.

If you'd like more laughs, I think you've created some great characters/setups for that and could easily turn up the zany factor.  For example, Ted and the Unabomber seemed like they could bring quite a bit more comedy into this. Another example: Sandy on the prowl never really does anything funny during the games along those lines and could.  Her substitute partner didn't seem that interesting or different from the one she was planning to play with. In fact, when Sandy first finds out that her partner can't make it, I was thinking it might be the Unabomber who was the replacement, which could have been really funny.  Or some other incongruous person to set up the comedy.  You could crank up the funny even more with the PDA couple and the dog.  And even more physical humor perhaps (think globetrotters play pickle ball).   Depends on what your vision is, but I think you've put some great comedic elements into play here and could get more out of them if you wish.

Refreshing, fun and different - really enjoyed reading it!