Little Red Hoodie by John Stone - Short, Comedy - An unsuspecting Taxi Driver gets more than he bargained for when he picks up a fare. 6 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Hey John,

Funny. I enjoyed this piece. Got a few chuckles out of it. Nice twist at the end.
The dialogue works, simple, effective and funny.

Is it a drama or comedy?

A couple of minor formatting issues and some nit-picks.

I would put "stormy" in Action, not in a slug.
LITTLE RED HODDIE / - remove the "/"
Wrap O.S. in parenthesis (O.S.).
There's an empty page 7.

As a reader it's obvious what transpires at the end, but filmed, we'll not know the driver's name, unless
some ID/Tag is displayed. This might be redundant. It's implied what happened. Your thoughts?

Frank

Frank, Just to clear up soem of your nitpicks:

/ is continued in shorthand.

Page 7 is blank because it's a 6 page short.

O.S or Off Screen is not a parenthetical. It is written after a characters name because we cannot see them.

Cheers buddy.

Don't mean to meddle but Frank is right, John.
Your page 7 is entirely blank and it should come out. At the moment it makes eight pages.
You could also clarify that you use unconventional formatting.

I enjoyed this particular cab caper btw. Left me wanting more which is a good thing.
Seems you have a taxi series going.

Yes I know. It has been. I haven’t uploaded yet. Thanks. for casting your eyes over this one and yes a taxi series may be the way to go.

I like the second installment of what Libby has dubbed “Cab Capers” (brilliant!). I agree that this has promise as a series. I also noted that you included another “surprise” family element at the end, continuing with that theme. Looking forward to more of your Taxi Tales!  :)

Quoted from kcranford I like the second installment of what Libby has dubbed “Cab Capers” (brilliant!). I agree that this has promise as a series. I also noted that you included another “surprise” family element at the end, continuing with that theme. Looking forward to more of your Taxi Tales!  :)

Thanks Kathy. Jump in and let’s go for a ride.  :D :D

This is pretty funny. As I read this, I asked myself, "What would her father think?' Right about then she mentions her father...         and then the hysterical ending.

I can't think of anything to add that hasn't already been mentioned.

Thanks for the read Michael. It’s that DNA thing again.