On The Dotted Line by John Stone - Short, Comedy - An ATM transaction leads to a misunderstanding at a branch of a bank. 7 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

This was entertaining. I have made a similar mistake on more occasions than I care to admit.

I could feel the frustration building. Nice.

Quoted from D.A.Banaszak This was entertaining. I have made a similar mistake on more occasions than I care to admit. I could feel the frustration building. Nice.

Me too, Michael. Glad that you enjoyed this one too.

I'm finally getting a chance to sit down and read some of these today.  This one did not disappoint!  It reminded me of the Facebook joke of the old man trying to create an acceptable online password, with its increasing frustration of the protagonist.  I think we've all probably experienced this at least once i.e. trying to swipe my Kroger membership card at Costco.  Oops - glad I didn't make too much of a scene before this was gently pointed out as my problem. Ugh!  Really well written short and totally relatable.  Loved it!

Hey, John.

I kept thinking how this would turn out but came up short.
Frustration building. Dialogue spot on, felt natural and funny.
Good work.

Frank

Thanks for your comments. Glad you enjoyed the read. I’m going through an eye operation for a detached retina so will be off here for a bit.