All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
#You Are Dead by Luis Garza - Short, Horror, Comedy - Social media has revolutionized the way we communicate with one another. In this short, a clumsy psycho killer uses Snapchat to scare and kill his new victims, two dumb high school girls who are having a sleep over. 8 pages - pdf, format
Well the logline made me laugh. Puts me in mind of a slasher parody.
And you delivered that. I like this. I can imagine the characters and it was a very enjoyable read. Not sure if there's anything that you can improve on. It works for me.
Took a quick read, a few thoughts... just my opinion of course
1) like the title but hashtags normally run together, so would be better as #YouAreDead 2) 'Their phones on their sides'... do you mean they are 'by their sides'? 3) Nit picky, but it's iPhone... not Iphone. 4) Is the 'Sleep over with bae...' bit meant to be a TXT message, or response on Snapchat? If so then it would be better formatted somthing like this... INSERT: Phone screen. Sleep over with bae etc etc 5) Same later on... 6) He seems to get to their house very quickly, does Kristi live next door?
So I like, this, there's a Scream like quality to it, just think it needs a polish and a tidy up.
First thing that comes to mind is, change the title to #YouAreDead or #youaredead.
Anyway on with the script..
HAILEY Sleep over with bae, hashtag turn up Does Hailey say these words? If not, it's formatted wrong. If so, it's a bit strange. Also don't get what hashtag turn up means? Maybe #turnip, as she's a fiend for her veggies?
Ha, I love the idea of these two bimbo's asking a very serous question like "why is there a weird person behind you?" via Snapchat. Says a lot about the youth of today, because really, that is what some would do.
The words “#shedead” and “lolrunbitch” in front of the 3 second snap. # should be in front of lolrunbitch
HAILEY KillDisBitchlol Again, don't think she'd be saying this..
Hailey opens the snap, a black screen with the words #yournext. SARAH My next? HAILEY I think he meant to put you apostrophe r e. SARAH Ohh. Love this. Brilliant.
And a nice ending.
Overall, this was very well done and very funny. A modern day slasher spoof and I wouldn't mind seeing this as a feature. With a little tidying up, this is good to go.
4) Is the 'Sleep over with bae...' bit meant to be a TXT message, or response on Snapchat? If so then it would be better formatted somthing like this... INSERT: Phone screen. Sleep over with bae etc etc
Anthony
I was in a writing slump, this is my first script post slump. I totally forgot about the INSERT, thank you for the reminder.
HAILEY Sleep over with bae, hashtag turn up Does Hailey say these words? If not, it's formatted wrong. If so, it's a bit strange. Also don't get what hashtag turn up means? Maybe #turnip, as she's a fiend for her veggies?
Glenn.
Yes, she is supposed to be talking as she types. I forgot about the INSERT format due to a writing slump that lasted for months. I used dialogue to notify the reader as to what Hailey is typing.
#Turnup is actually a trend teens are using to let others know they are having fun. Kinda weird huh?
Ha, I love the idea of these two bimbo's asking a very serous question like "why is there a weird person behind you?" via Snapchat. Says a lot about the youth of today, because really, that is what some would do.
Glenn.
Glad you noticed that! That was totally what I was going for!
Overall, this was very well done and very funny. A modern day slasher spoof and I wouldn't mind seeing this as a feature. With a little tidying up, this is good to go.
Nice job and good luck.
Glenn.
Glenn.
I'm so glad you liked this as much as you did! I usually don't spoof other genres but I just had to do it for this one. I thought the idea of a serial killer actually being in touch with the media was so out of character, which makes it hilarious. All of the other serial killers in movies, seem to live in the past
Well the logline made me laugh. Puts me in mind of a slasher parody.
And you delivered that. I like this. I can imagine the characters and it was a very enjoyable read. Not sure if there's anything that you can improve on. It works for me.
This was fun. Having not read the script, I struggled to find the tone off the bat. Once I realized it has heading down the comedy avenue, I enjoyed it much more. Congrats.
This was fun. Having not read the script, I struggled to find the tone off the bat. Once I realized it has heading down the comedy avenue, I enjoyed it much more. Congrats.