Quoted from AlsoBen No problem dave. Just to be clear I’m still reading so expect some more from me!

Cool

OK I finished this up

The only overall "issue" is something that's more of a personal preference of mine, and is not really constructive. I was just kind of hoping for something that turned the genre on it's side. It's really clean and pretty much there's nothing I'd say makes this not worth pursuing, and I don't even think - as is - that it's needs further re drafts at all. But I would have loved to see this be something that starts out like a really typical buddy road trip movie with all the tropes, digging for that humor, and then end in a really different place. But that's just me - otherwise this is really serviceable and reads like a pro script.

I liked the poignancy of Kimberly and Theresa's strong relationship and how it builds throughout the script. Even though I still feel lit comes later in the script than necessary, Kimberly's character is really sweet and her background makes for a nice contrast to the comedy. Theresa is just a wholesome character who I liked being around.

You didn't go to any really "gross" places despite the plot revolving around sex workers and I think a lazier writer would have tried to draw more humour out of a naive Nun being around a sex worker, and the sex worker being really shameless/gross or just too exuberant.

Really fun read - sorry it took  me a week or two, but that had nothing to do with quality at all. Thanks Dave

Quoted from AlsoBen OK I finished this up The only overall "issue" is something that's more of a personal preference of mine, and is not really constructive. I was just kind of hoping for something that turned the genre on it's side. It's really clean and pretty much there's nothing I'd say makes this not worth pursuing, and I don't even think - as is - that it's needs further re drafts at all. But I would have loved to see this be something that starts out like a really typical buddy road trip movie with all the tropes, digging for that humor, and then end in a really different place. But that's just me - otherwise this is really serviceable and reads like a pro script. I liked the poignancy of Kimberly and Theresa's strong relationship and how it builds throughout the script. Even though I still feel lit comes later in the script than necessary, Kimberly's character is really sweet and her background makes for a nice contrast to the comedy. Theresa is just a wholesome character who I liked being around. You didn't go to any really "gross" places despite the plot revolving around sex workers and I think a lazier writer would have tried to draw more humour out of a naive Nun being around a sex worker, and the sex worker being really shameless/gross or just too exuberant. Really fun read - sorry it took  me a week or two, but that had nothing to do with quality at all. Thanks Dave

Thank you, Ben! - Glad you enjoyed it.

No problem! Thanks for reading my feature draft - it's been really helpful

Quoted from AlsoBen No problem! Thanks for reading my feature draft - it's been really helpful

Glad it helped

David,

Some quick background before my review of your script, which I really enjoyed. I am taking a screenwriting class and have very little experience with formal screenplays, etc. Your Nun The Wiser script was actually the first actual script I’ve ever read.

I put time in on the front end to find something that sounded interesting through title, logline, etc and also had some good conversation already going. I wound up on your script and I was not disappointed. To me, it seemed obvious you had a clear idea of who your characters were and how to bounce their personalities off of each other perfectly. I wasn’t paying attention to beat sheet stuff, but you kept the story moving along really well and I thoroughly enjoyed what turned into parallel odd couples with Kimberly and Tess doing their thing, while Hector and Sullivan did theirs.

The humor, gruff humor mixed with softer individuals. Fucking LOVED the scoreboard bit that showed up here and there as their relationship grew. I could easily see this as a movie and found very few things that “didn’t work”. Great work, David! I could easily see this being a movie….even had the actors/actresses picked out in my head while reading it. Cheers!

Thanks - much appreciated. Glad you enjoyed it.