Doe by Igor The Clown - John and Gary cheat on their wives with one another, but John wants more. When Gary rejects him, John disappears suddenly, forcing Gary to come to terms with his role in John's life.  Short, Drama, Thriller

So the “revenge” is John disappearing himself? Is that what you’re trying to imply? I don’t know that that meets the guidelines/rules.

Also, Marla’s transition from polite but guarded conversation with Gary, to very clearly understandig the true nature of John and Gary’s relationship needs to be smoother - it doesn’t make a huge amount of sense on the page.

Why did you bold some character introductions?

I’m not sure if the opening and closing shots are literal or metaphorical and it could be clearer

I was confused.  I'm not sure what was what.  Was John the deer at the beginning and again at the end?

Deers symbolise kindness, compassion, devotion, loss of innocence. Not a good idea to kill one - bad luck in some cultures.

Anyway, this was Brokeback Mountain for me. The comparisons instantly brought it to mind. Of course the gory dream and the removal of teeth added the Horror layer; the revenge layer was a little slim on the ground

A lot of unanswered questions too.
Did John just walk away from his life? Given his wife mentions her fears, that he's flighty. Was the double-life all too much for him? Or did a Hunter accidentally kill him?

Was he in the cabin?
Was he watching Gary the whole time?
I don't know...

It's nicely written, dialogue is good, and I was immersed in the story. I just badly wanted a satisfying resolution.

P.S. I guess you were in a hurry judging by all the (it's) errors.
And it's lie not lay. Drumming that in again.  

Is that true LC Re: killing deer? I thought Americans hunted deers. It’s how Bambi’s mum died!

Ben, I can't speak for Hunters, but deers are big with Buddhists.

Hey Writer

Interesting tale, ambiguous, which I do like. I also thought the writing was fairly strong throughout.

Being ambiguous, I couldn't quite realise what the story was alluding to but it was certainly interesting enough getting there.

The revenge element seems to have been squeezed in on the last sentence - you've sorta had to tell us an act of revenge has taken place so I'm not sure I buy the revenge element of the story.

Look, despite that, I enjoyed this and more importantly, I would enjoy it on screen - creepy and ambiguous - yay!

The story was about Gary looking for his missing hunting partner John. The focus was on the disappearance of John.  After reading the script,  I didn't know if John was safe or dead. Did it have something to do with the hunting?  or  Was John hiding on purpose for some reasons?
The script didn't mention it.

So I tried to get clues. The first scene and the last scene about deers may answer the questions. John got punished by nature because he killed animals. I'm just guessing

Michael

I was hooked on this story beginning to end.  The writing and imagery are beautiful IMO, a great deal of talent on display.  Now the only thing I need is answers.  Like everyone else, I'm wondering who or what the deer represented?  I'm thinking it was John, who metaphorically exacted his "small revenge" with the bite.  Did Gary find him and kill him?  I have no idea.  As usual, I read through more than once making sure I didn't miss a big clue, IDK, maybe I read too much into it but looks like others have the same questions.  Nevertheless, this is a very compelling story.  Kudos for imagination and thanks for sharing!

Some nice imagery. Nice dialog. I didn't understand the ending.
At least the deer got a nice bite into the hunter. I think the hunter was either John or Gary. I may have missed something.

Ahoy Igor The Clown - I kind of don't get it either. writing is tremendous, but the story kind of dominates the piece  and rightfully so.  And I enjoyed it for the most part, but the ending left me scratching my head.  It is ok to remain ambiguous, but for some reason I do not think it was done intentionally here. Just my humble non professional screenplay writing two cents worth. Overall, I did enjoy it though. Best of Irish luck!_ghostie gal

Some nice passages of writing here, but not sure it entirely meets the criteria and I was left a little confused towards the end of it.

Purely personal opinion, but I'm not a fan of underlined scene headings, especially when they're also bolded.

Nothing to add. My reaction was the same as everyone else's. I'll check back here after the reveal to see if you decide to provide details.

Overall, well-written, but confusing.

writer, I don't know what you are trying to say. I hope you clue us in.
I believe there is some metaphorical play utilized here, but i'm guessing.
This is such a beautifully written story. There is a strange poetic quality to the
way things unfold. It's also haunting and dream like in its disconnect.
Good luck moving forward and the world awaits your explanation.