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...No, we need something really horrifying and gross and, as my wife will tell you, I'm just the man for the job. |
Right, well if your wife says it... 
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Sounds like you will be collaborating with Zack. |
His stories are way too mild for my tastes.
Ang Lee would direct Zack's scripts.
No, we need something really horrifying and gross and, as my wife will tell you, I'm just the man for the job.
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Mine's going to be about a group of hot, sex-crazed teens who are stalked in the woods and murdered one-at-a-time by a hockey mask-wearing psycho with a meat cleaver and a chainsaw.
Because it's about time we had some originality around here. |
Sounds like you will be collaborating with Zack. |
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I might read this based on the comments above. It sounds like fun. However, 177 pages is a lot. That's a 3-hour film and for me, with your format issues, about a 4+ hour read.
They are right about using MS Word. While it's something that you can use, it's brutal. I tried it before I purchased a screenplay writing package. Life is much easier with screenplay writing software. There are many packages available at different prices. There are a few free packages available if you want to try things out first. They are all good packages. Also, some packages have a free demo version so you can try it out before you take the plunge and spend money. If you want to stay with a free package, several people who post regularly h...
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We have a Halloween challenge coming up. |
Mine's going to be about a group of hot, sex-crazed teens who are stalked in the woods and murdered one-at-a-time by a hockey mask-wearing psycho with a meat cleaver and a chainsaw.
Because it's about time we had some originality around here.
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Bloody hell, Shakespeare has left the building.
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“Aye but to die and go we know not where.” |
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Could these be the best-run boards on the net? Certainly in the running. I thought we writers were supposed to be crabby, reclusive types?! All so helpful, thank you! |
You're welcome.
Stick around, Paul. We have a Halloween challenge coming up. Write a short script in 7 days, according to a prompt that will be given. The challenge is anonymous. Writer's choice gets a mug (see my pic) and acclaim. 
Check out past OWCs here:
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?c-OWC/
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-2Q24/m-1724117464/s-0/ |
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| Could these be the best-run boards on the net? Certainly in the running. I thought we writers were supposed to be crabby, reclusive types?! All so helpful, thank you! |
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All good, wasn't sure if you noticed.
You just never know when someone might want to contact you about your script. Edited the @ so you don't get spammed.  |
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austinbennettwriter(at)gmail.com
I've already sent Don an updated script. |
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These are my short scripts/vignette's currently on the site. I'll add more as Don uploads them.
Art (4 pages + title)
Biker (5 pages + title)
Bonkers (6 pages + title)
Calm (1 page + title : prev. title was ...
Click here to read more ... |
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Paul, some more info re Montage v Series of Shots etc.
If the passage of time is short, for me, Series of Shots works best. Montage imho is better used unfolding over a longer period of time, it unfolds in a gentler way - perfect example is its use in RomComs to condense time, often with musical overlay.
A really good link here:
https://www.scriptgodsmustdie.com/2010/01/format-3-montage-vs-series-of-shots/
Another good link to an SS discussion here:
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-screenwrite/m-1100748149/s-0/
And here:
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-screenwrite/m-1194903750/s-new/
Lots of info in Screenwriting Class in general.
Look at the Sticky thre...
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Oh thanks Libby. I need to upgrade my specs. Best. |
Bloody hell, Shakespeare has left the building.
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| Oh thanks Libby. I need to upgrade my specs. Best. |
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It was really only one. I took the liberty cause 'ultimate' was written as 'ultomate' in your logline. |
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| Two edits by LC? |
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No question about it: BAD in all cases except when they have been specifically requested by someone you need to listen to, i.e., name director, money person, etc.
Riley is quite unequivocal about this: numbering is a function of production, and to add them when you're submitting shows hubris and a lack of understanding of both protocols and etiquette.
So I'm afraid I cannot go along with the more agnostic replies.
They're a lot of trouble to add, they cannot help and they MIGHT hurt... so why put ’em in?
By the way, if you submit it WITHOUT scene numbering and some wannabe asks you, "Where are the scene numbers?", they are revealing merely their own inexperience — with a side-order of rudeness — so |
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Word-Hits
1 (100.00%) |
Nightmare Creek (reply) |
Posted by: LC
Date Posted: Yesterday, 9:38pm |
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| Title page email, Austin. |
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Word-Hits
1 (100.00%) |
The Actor (reply) |
Posted by: LC
Date Posted: Yesterday, 9:29pm |
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Hey, I loved this script and would love to produce it. Please let me know if you are interested. |
The writer never responded to feedback in 2020 and there's no contact details on the title page.
This might be her. Can't guarantee it but they are in the film industry and I don't think it's a common name, but I could be wrong.
https://za.linkedin.com/in/mpu.....%2Fwww.google.com%2F
Contact Admin - Don first, via PM.
Or email webmaster@simplyscripts.com
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Hey,
I loved this script and would love to produce it.
Please let me know if you are interested. |
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Thank you for reading, but I disagree with your feedback.
I didn't want red herrings or misdirection. Cassie's first scene has Micah pulling her over and he gives her verbal warning. That was on purpose. There's some revelations about how Andy died, but I knew the climax would involve Cassie and Micah.
I've never seen Bosch so I don't get the comparison.
I grew up in this small town, and when there's only one restaurant that's nicer than a Denny's, it's where people go.
I don't understand the comment about Jude's capabilities or work pressures. He's the owner/operator/bartender/cook when needs be. Again, small town restaurant. There's not a lot of staff.
The love scene was always part of the script. Ca...
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I should add here that by far the most important lesson from both your replies is one not particularly invited by my question, i.e., STOP DIRECTING ON THE PAGE!
As my screenplay is a thriller, and as there are a few concealed weapons, etc, involved, there will certainly be times when I need to indicate POV or the like...
HOWEVER...
The instant I wake up tomorrow I'm going to go through my work like a dose of salts (Irish expression) and remove EVERYTHING that looks like fussy direction. Promise. And I would not have done so were it not for your very kind, expert and thoughtful comments. Regards Paul |
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A MILLION THANKS ANTHONY AND LON!
I cannot tell you the amount of time and trouble you've saved me, thank you. I note that you differ with Riley, who puts the theme of a Montage first and then adds hyphen and MONTAGE.
Your way makes more sense, and I feel comfortable doing it now that you've noted both the use of montage themes AND the use of the word MONTAGE before rather than after.
Thanks for telling me that SHOCK CUT KNIFE: is a transition. As it would take a lot of lines to add a knife-related scene slug thereafter (not to mention a clunky BACK TO SCENE, etc) can I take it that we've disposed of both the cut AND the knife in that single, right-of-page SHOCK CUT KNIFE: ?
What could or would the next line plausibly be? Would ...
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I use David Trottier's Screenwriter's Bible for all my formatting queries, |
Same. I've read lots of screenwriting books over the years but TSB is still the gold standard, IMO.
As to the questions at hand:
SHOCK CUT. That's a transition. Transitions are flushed right. If you're talking about cutting to a knife, you can do that without using a transition. There are a lot of tricks writers can use to lead the viewer's eyes, and one of those is using CAPS (more on this below). If you write something like, "Bob pulls a KNIFE," the reader is likely going to cut to a close-up of a knife in their mind's eye. Mission accomplished, no stage direction or transition needed.
A MONTAGE is...
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Word-Hits
1 (100.00%) |
The Note (reply) |
Posted by: JtF
Date Posted: Yesterday, 12:37pm |
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Dear Chris,
what a neat trailer and such fantastic music - building, suspenseful, with release and then triumphant choir climax. Indeed a song without words (ok just 2)
All best - JtF |
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1 (100.00%) |
Nightmare Creek (reply) |
Posted by: JtF
Date Posted: Yesterday, 12:10pm |
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Dear Austin,
IMHO it needs better plotting. There's not a lot of misdirection, or other suspects to keep you guessing. The bar scenes don't really show Jude's capabilities or work pressures (to distract) and Micah really makes it obvious - so the ground is set here for more of the Police to be in on it.
The love scene looks to me added as an afterthought. If I had a GBPound for every girl I said I'd had a crush on . . .
It's more TV rather than films where I watch this genre and they have so many more layers. I can't image Bosch having so many bar scenes. . . Movement - light and shade - intrigue - suspense -
The way to get Cassie to see the restricted Police files would be to have her honeytrap one of the corrupt officers (who...
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I use David Trottier's Screenwriter's Bible for all my formatting queries, SHOCK CUT is in there but the very briefest of mentions and connected to SMASH CUT.
Given that it is a kind of CUT I would suggest right hand side.
Though, current wisdom would query why you would use things like this or SMASH CUT etc, they are often considered directing on the page and not necessarily something the writer has control over (and can be distracting)... but it's up to you really.
On your other areas...
1) I tend to use MONTAGE... Trottier has a couple of pages on the subject though.
2) Paper size in relation to what? Scipts are rarely printed these day until you get to shooting and even then not always printed, so I'm not ...
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| You're very kind, thank you. I had no idea that a post, particularly from a new member, would find itself in such careful hands — or indeed in any hands at all, other than those invented by some dreadful AI machine. Thanks again. I will drink the Kool Aid, promise, but for now can you just give me a quick hint as to how I might post on MY OWN thread? Advanced class will be learning how to do it on other threads. Sorry! |
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No question about it: BAD in all cases except when they have been specifically requested by someone you need to listen to, i.e., name director, money person, etc.
Riley is quite unequivocal about this: numbering is a function of production, and to add them when you're submitting shows hubris and a lack of understanding of both protocols and etiquette.
So I'm afraid I cannot go along with the more agnostic replies.
They're a lot of trouble to add, they cannot help and they MIGHT hurt... so why put ’em in?
By the way, if you submit it WITHOUT scene numbering and some wannabe asks you, "Where are the scene numbers?", they are revealing merely their own inexperience — with a side-order of rudeness — so do not be influenced...
Click here to read more ... |
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Hi Paul, welcome to SS.
I'm in a different timezone so am hitting the hay. Just wanted to acknowledge your posting.
I've moved your post to the more relevant section. There's a lot of info to be found in Screenwriting Class. You can do a search at the bottom of the page to see if your question/s may have already been answered.
That said, hopefully some others will chime in with an opinion.
FYI: A quick Q&A to SS, and how best to navigate the site is linked below.
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-cc/m-1124159895/s-new/ |
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Showing 1 - 30 (20048 results found)
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