Witch vs The Flying Guillotine by Hard Candy - Two kids, armed with a flying guillotine, go head to head with a carnival witch for life and candy.  Short, Horror, Comedy

Bahaha. Excellent good fun that lives up to its title.

Get this to a director with some Raimi chops. I’m sold.

If I have one complaint, I guess it’s that I wish the kids had a gripe between them that they then overcome with teamwork. I think the boy coulda been a little meaner to Sue, potentially, given how things end up, so that we get a sorta change of the balance of power over the story. Or something completely different than that. As is, it’s kinda empty (but very tasty) calories.

But anyway — fantastic work. My second read and I’ll be surprised if there’s another I like quite this much.

I enjoyed this.

It is very creative and my favorite so far!

It's a fun ride with a twist ending.

Fat Lucas and Lightfoot Sue

Very imaginative. I think kids would love it, and it would scare the heck out of them.

A flying guillotine - whew!
Would be a great weapon in a straight Horror script.

Had to read this first as I remember watching Master of the Flying Guillotine back in the day, craxy king fu mayhem... lets see where this goes!

Well written and I still love the concept of the flying guillotine, my only gripe is that you start them off in a carnival but move the action to a house, I think the carnival would have been a more interesting and creepy choice.

Good script!

Ahoy Hard Candy - yup - agree with Ant. Having it take place at the carnival would have been better. More fun and scares to be had methinks. Anyhoo -- a cute and fun story. Nothing to really add. Thanks for sharing. It's definitely up there. Best of Irish luck! -A

A great little story, although I had a hard time envisioning a flying guillotine. I actually googled it and that wasn't much help, so I just went with the story.

I agree as well that this should have stayed at the carnival for the fight scene, but overall it still worked.  The reveal at the end was not shocking but at least it was a surprise.  Good job here by the writer.

Yeah this was just too much for me. A contrived full six page entry that bared little fruit in the end. The journey was probably better than the destination and should have remained static.


I must admit I found it a little overwhelming, what with flying Gullotines and so on.

Well done for getting this through.

Oh man, this is a big fun shiny Halloween script. I had no idea what a flying guillotine was till I looked it up, that’s quite the disturbing looking weapon that you would not want to be on the receiving end of, lol.

That being said, I would imagine it would take years of practice to actually use that thing without decapitating yourself or everyone in the room, but meh… it’s a fun carnival ride all around, well done. Best of luck.

This was a fun scare.

The only suggestion I would make is that the Old Hag would say something more like a mystic like, "Now, silence!" instead of, "Now shut up." The "Now shut up" was funny in a Bugs Bunny kind of way, but I don't think it was what you were going for.

Great dialogue here.  The kids and the hag.  It's funny stuff.

The action is mostly good -- but at times a little confusing as we lose track of where we are or how we got there.

The ending I liked without being really sure of why I even liked it.  It works, so that's enough.

Good stuff here.

probably my favorite entry. I'm a sucker for anybody with a whip (thanks Castlevania).

My only criticism would be the kids and just how easily they accept that they have to behead this witch. I think they should show a little more surprise or excitement at what's going on.

otherwise, great entry.

Take the fight to the carnival as Anthony suggested and there could be fireworks.
Wait, that would be adding another holiday to the mix.
I'd love to see a battle on the ferris wheel. Crazy possibilities.

Writer,

While I always appreciate a mention of the crappy mug, much like the ring the script sort of went around and around. Around and around. I didn’t buy the tension, and while the ending was certainly a surprise, it didn’t work, for me anyway, as intended. Good effort though!

Steve