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Banger'z (currently 1296 views)
Don
Posted: May 19th, 2017, 7:37pm
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So, what are you writing?
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Banger'z by Bernard Mersier - Drama - Caught between his friends being “Crips” and his sister trying to join the “Bloods” Chris has to make quick life changing decisions before everything goes downhill. 102 pages - pdf format
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Don revised draft
Flossy Freeman
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 1:59pm
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Hi - interesting concept, but the action slugs were WAY too long. I couldn't get past the first few pages. I guess I'm learning as I'm reading, if you open a script, you're not expecting to read a novella - also can't budget time w/1 page = 1 minute. Clean up almost all of your action lines and maybe others will read through? Keep VO to a very minimal and shorten your dialogue or break it up with banter - but mainly, get ahold of those action lines. It's very important - esp. since this would be an action film. Hope this helps - Gina
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