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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Script Review Exchange  ›  Posthumous - Any Zombie Horror Comedy Fans? Moderators: the goose
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  Author    Posthumous - Any Zombie Horror Comedy Fans?  (currently 269 views)
kev
Posted: December 19th, 2023, 12:07pm Report to Moderator
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Hello!

Looking to get some feedback on my recent zombie horror comedy Posthumous (recently uploaded to the horror board). Let me know if anyone has anything they are looking to get eyes on. I'm happy to read now that I'm on holiday break!  

Cheers.

Edit: Added link & title.
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-horror/m-1702847520/



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LC  -  December 19th, 2023, 5:57pm
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kcranford
Posted: December 19th, 2023, 1:46pm Report to Moderator
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Hi Kev,  I've started reading this - about 20 pages in.  I find myself a little squeamish with gore, but I'm liking the style of your scriptwriting - very nice descriptives of the action.  It may take me a day or so to get it all read (with work and the holidays - ugh) but I'll let you know when I finish and share my thoughts with you.  Congrats on getting this finished - no easy task in any genre.  Wishing you a Merry Christmas!

Best,

Kathy


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kev
Posted: December 19th, 2023, 2:29pm Report to Moderator
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Hi Kathy! Thanks for checking it out. It's certainly a little gore-heavy but in a Sam Raimi kind of way, or at least hopefully that's how it comes across. Let me know if there's anything on SS or that you're working on that you'd like me to check out!


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LC
Posted: December 19th, 2023, 6:06pm Report to Moderator
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A zombie outbreak causes a family’s secrets to be unburied when they discover the undead have a specific agenda.

Re your logline:
Unburied sounds awkward to my ear, especially when combined with undead.

Can I suggest that you replace the word 'unburied' with exposed or revealed.

Long buried secrets are unearthed?



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kev
Posted: December 19th, 2023, 6:45pm Report to Moderator
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Undead -- unburied. I see how that happened, but you're right it's awkward. I think it's worth the swap! Thanks


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kcranford
Posted: December 19th, 2023, 6:54pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from kev
Undead -- unburied. I see how that happened, but you're right it's awkward. I think it's worth the swap! Thanks


What about “exhumed”?  That’s a real “unburied” alternative.


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Death  (OWC)
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LC
Posted: December 19th, 2023, 7:08pm Report to Moderator
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I personally wouldn't use 'exhumed' cause it's usually reserved specifically for digging up a body forensically, or for horror, you might say, but not in relation to a family's secrets.
Secrets unearthed, uncovered, exposed, revealed,  etc.

I haven't read the script so it's a bit difficult to tell why this family are targeted; why they're different to any other victim of a zombie. I mean zombies are not discriminating, they just munch down on anybody. In that regard I think there's a key bit of info missing from your logline.

Edit: I read some of the script to discover the angle. Nice idea! You have some really great humour in dialogue mixed in with the gore too.



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kev
Posted: December 19th, 2023, 8:51pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks, LC! It's kind of a Russian nesting doll of a story. Wanted to keep it vague but it might be too exhausted of a genre to rely on the draw zombies anymore.


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