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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Horror Scripts  ›  Glow in the Dark Moderators: bert
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  Author    Glow in the Dark  (currently 1226 views)
Don
Posted: July 18th, 2022, 1:13pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Glow in the Dark by Luke Anthony Walker - Horror - On All-Hallows Eve, an eco-activist camping trip turns sinister for two sisters when an eerie fog rolls in, bringing forth the malevolent spirit of a murderous fiddle player, whose beguiling melodies threaten their very lives. 108 pages

Contest: Kosice International Film Festival - Winner Best Horror Screenplay 2022

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Revision History (3 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don  -  May 3rd, 2024, 9:05am
revised draft
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D.A.Banaszak
Posted: October 2nd, 2023, 5:28pm Report to Moderator
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This is a nice story. I can see why it won a contest. It seemed a bit long and slow in the beginning but that’s just my unprofessional opinion. Once it got dark and scary, the excitement was enjoyable. I didn’t intend to finish reading it last night but once I got hooked, I couldn’t put it down.

I couldn’t find anything to help you with. It was well written with a nice twist at the end.

The only thing helpful advice I could think of is that you left out the obligatory FADE IN in the beginning and at the bottom of page 11, you have a typo: you wrote your instead of you’re in Alex’s dialog.

Mostly I wanted you to know that I read this and liked it.




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LC
Posted: October 2nd, 2023, 6:23pm Report to Moderator
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D.A., I hate to break it to you but the obligatory FADE IN is no longer. Actually there's been a decided shift away from it.

I still use it cause I firmly believe it's a part of the magic, except in OWCs of course where every line is precious.  


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