I don't understand Jeff - he's pissed
I don't understand why Phil left - he's missed
I don't understand why I love the Fab Four
I don't understand anything - anymore...
I don't understand why I'm finishing this now
I just don't understand...how? |
Yay, Stevie!!! You made me smile!!!!
Here's mine: Late but shate:
***
Ma Havinah?Ma havinah? Ma havinah?
What is understanding?
The bird-like screech came suddenly.
A hawk—a habicht, pierced through my vision.
Down as feathered lightning
To its target
A small deer, gripped by talons
The deer rolled, scrambled back to its feet
Flight again for the hawk
Pursuing the deer again and again
Sharp jabs
Ma havinah? Ma havinah?
What is understanding?
He screeched again,
Needling the deer
Pecking, gripping
The deer’s dahm flowed tasty
Teasing Vampires
Teasing me
Little rivers of red
Little trenches in flesh
Gashed for Zamin
Miraculous,
The deer fled
More miraculous,
The hawk released,
Riding innocent
Upon his back
Flapping then,
In front then,
Leading him, the hawk then--
Away is away is away.
Still I am.
Still I stand.
I know, I stood--
This way, before.
And I go back to nevermore.
Behind me, a sound
Tramping dead leaves
Old bones
I failed to turn
Feared to turn
Paw paw pawing
It pawed at my back
I couldn’t turn wit
I couldn’t face it
Panim beh Panim
Might be it kill me
Ma havinah? Ma havinah?
It growled.
It smelled of wild compost
Burning
My lungs did burn
I had to turn
Around--
To see The Wolf
His eyes like Jack
Dainty killer,
Burlap sack
Unknown
Unknown
He glazed at me unknown.
There were the white things I remembered.
The failed bride's dress.
And all that horned mess.
Yes.
White nods for the morrow
Black whips of telling
Black whips of story telling
He spoke
As storm clouds arched with black cat spine
His howl ached as nephilim
The volcanic sky
Like apple pie
So I turned…
Ma havinah? Ma havinah?
He leapt upon me
Meaty will to eat
I saw his teeth
I heard his howl
Ma havinah? Ma havinah?
His hate and fondness tramped my senses.
Only though and three; yet he did not bite.
Please, I said.
Ani lo mevinah. Ani lo mevinah.
I do not understand. I do not understand.
Please tell me,. Please tell me.
I pleaded
When he gripped my throat with something
Something clenched my veins
Something held me tight, inside me.
Frozen Nirvana—
Inside me….
I cried--
Kshar! Kshar!
Bond! Bond!
Kshar! Kshar!
His fur brushed my forehead.
His teeth kissed my breasts
Breast that weep
They weep with milk
Now still-even-still,
No child in sight,
And still they give,
The milk of mothers--
Mindless mothers
Mindful mothers
Scorned in restless never-will
Laid in beds of luster-kill
Eat, goddamit anyways!
Is what I say.
In ever sway—
Of my
Tormentor!
Of my love grantor!
Eat! You bloodless dahmless sovereign!
Whence I forced the hand.
Both left and right together!
He cinched the hairs upon my head
To a tightly rung tail
By that he grabbed
He grabbed so hard each piece and part
And lifted me
Whereby is by
He bowed his head.
Stood up straight and became a man.
Why didn’t you follow the hawk?
His graveled voice crisped the metal
Shot the sham
Stealing air, the wayfare damn
Hushing me.
Stuffing me.
He crushed my heart.
He then continued…
With hydrogen, helium,
lithium, beryllium...
The hawk had sense, he said.
What sense?! I asked. Shelot? Shelot?
Questions? Questions? If I may?
He answered, in a breezy way.
Sense to lead the deer from harm.
Away from me and my left arm.
Squibbles crawled before me.
Ants. Just ants, I thought.
My flesh felt alive with bass and baritone,
Hitting me, pounding me.
Prickling my skin, weeding it.
His words corrosive as drain cleaner,
I could eat you even now.
Don’t you see? Don’t you understand?
Ani lo mevinah, I said…
Ani lo mevinah! I cried.
I soared and bombed.
I flew and fell.
I felt you behind me.
I felt the chill.
I don’t understand.
I don’t understand.
Ani lo mevinah.
Why do I love?
His naked arms held me under the noir.
And I knew.
I know you.
I know who You are.
And…
I’ve waited a long time.
For this moment.
He hailed me with a silent sniff of his black nostrils.
You’re mine, he said.
I know.
The volcanic sky opened to a sunlit glaze.
It was all and all a grand ole phase.
The Sun Rose. The Moon Rose.
These be the days.
And we followed the blood of the deer.
Together.
Sandra Elstree