Silverfish by Tim Wolfe - Short, Comedy, Dark Comedy - A simple pest problem spirals out of control.  30 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

This is a seriously good script which I stumbled across while searching for something else - Horror, crime-drama, tragedy, comedy of errors. Every time I thought, oh no, that doesn't work, you surprised me with something else. The twists and turns of the plot, the characters - specifically Cleghorn, the humour, the seamless dialogue - wow!

The thing is Tim Wolfe, you have no contact details on your script so nobody could contact you about filming this even if they wanted to.

At the very least this would be great for the Blog page for a review.

You have a lot of talent and I hope you see this and reply.

P.S. I'll see if Don has your details.

So I read this from beginning to end - all 30 pages. I have questions:

Question 1.  Why am I reading this when I should be reading the OWC entries?
Answer:  Because of Libby’s glowing review.

Question 2.  Why am I reading this when I immediately knew this wasn’t a genre I care for i.e. violence, cringe-worthy subject matter, “sick” content (IMO).
Answer:  Because from page one, I could not stop reading,  as it is well written, engaging and I could not stop laughing (even at the “sick” parts and even though it got a little grim towards the end). I totally agree with Libby’s review above. This is obviously the work of an experienced screenwriter.  I do hope you see these comments and add your contact info. I think you won’t have trouble finding someone with interest in filming this. It really is golden. I’m still “clutching my pearls” at some of the content but still able to give a definite thumbs up for this script. Wishing you all good luck with this.

Sincerely,

Cringing but still Laughing (aka Kathy)

Quoted from kcranford ... I’m still “clutching my pearls” at some of the content...

If I'd been eating my brekky when I read that line it would have gone everywhere. Thank you Kathy for cracking me up first thing in the morning.  

I've contacted Don and hopefully he has an email for Tom.

Read this after the glowing review and I have to agree. This was a great script and certainly didn't feel like 30 pages. Great structure and dialogue, the only thing, and it's pretty small, that threw me was the temporary tattoo smudging into a swastika. I think you have to just let that one slide for the rest of the story to happen.

Nice one!

Yes, I agree Warren. That's the only thing that didn't work for me too, cause no idea how that would happen unless it was a temporary tattoo that melted.

Quoted from LC Yes, I agree Warren. That's the only thing that didn't work for me too, cause no idea how that would happen unless it was a temporary tattoo that melted.

With a bit of thought I think it would be an easy fix, but regardless it's a fantastic script.

Quoted from LC Yes, I agree Warren. That's the only thing that didn't work for me too, cause no idea how that would happen unless it was a temporary tattoo that melted.

Louis explains to Blaine early on that his 7 year old daughter had painted the unicorn on his forehead. So it wasn’t a real tatt- likely just finger paint. That’s why I thought that was another great moment when it melted into the swastika.

As for “clutching my pearls” that’s an old idiom used by “Southern Belles” to express shock at impropriety.  I love the term. It’s very “Scarlett O’Hara”. Glad it brought a smile.  

Aha! Thanks, Kathy. Must have missed that.

Quoted from kcranford Louis explains to Blaine early on that his 7 year old daughter had painted the unicorn on his forehead. So it wasn’t a real tatt- likely just finger paint. That’s why I thought that was another great moment when it melted into the swastika.

Obviously getting into semantics here, but it doesn't melt, he smudges it. I think the difference matters, if you smudge something there is no way it's going to make such a geometric pattern... IMO. That was the hiccup for me. The easiest thing to do would be to just accept that it smudges in that pattern, but my point was that in a script that reads so well, that part makes you stop, or at least it made Libby and I stop.

Like I said, I think it would be easy enough to fix.

I hear what you're saying, Warren.
And...

I found Tim's details and emailed him.
I hope he joins the discussion.

Hey Guys! Tim here. Thank you so much for reading the script. I’m really glad you enjoyed it. I realized after I uploaded it that I forgot to include any contact info on the title page, but honestly I thought it was so dark and goofy that everybody would just tell me it was bad and/or unproduceable. Very happy to find it has an audience.

I wrote this in one night not too long after watching Barbarian. I read that Zach Cregger had written Barbarian as a stream of consciousness exercise, so I started with this idea of an idiot shooting a bug on the wall and went from there.

The Cleghorn stuff was my favorite part to write. I grew up loving Agatha Christie books and I always wanted to write a Hercule Poirot/Benoit Blanc type character.

The part with Louis and the swastika was the only thing I added after the whole thing was finished. I had included the part about him having a unicorn tattoo on his forehead and realized I hadn’t done anything with it, so I just thought it would be funny if it randomly turned into a swastika by the end. The logistics of it never really occurred to me, I kind of just envisioned the whole thing as some kind of Curb Your Enthusiasm fever dream. But it’s not something I’m at all opposed to modifying or taking out entirely.

Thank you again for the wonderful feedback, I appreciate it more than you know.

Ps. Should I just resubmit the script with the new title page?

Hey Tim!

So glad I tracked you down (in a non-stalker type of way).   .
Simply Scripts has a One Week Challenge (OWC) going on at the moment but hopefully you get more reads after that.

Yes, submit your new draft on the submissions page as usual and tick the box: This is an update to a script, logline...
Don will update it for you.

Hope to see more of you and your scripts around here.
Thank you for the terrific read!

Ahoy Tim - Aha! There you are! Were you moved? I agree with the comments already posted. Believe it or not I had read this when it was first posted. Initially, if I remember correctly - it was listed under horror. Well this was my main concern I wasn't fully sure of the overall tone. Sure, you can have a horror with comic elements, but the overall piece just felt darker.

Your dialogue was the highlight for me - not so much the humor. Overall I liked it...I just didn't luv it.

Anyway, nice work! Pacing and tone worked well together to do what you set out to do, i.e. establish who your characters are and what they're dealing with. Best of Irish luck! _ghostie gal

Thanks for reading Ghostie! Definitely understand being averse to the humor. Even I was surprised at how dark it got. I’m glad you liked the dialogue, it’s always been my favorite thing to write. Still not sure if it’s correctly classified, but I’ll try a new category every week and see what sticks. Historical epic is next.

I have been lurking on this site reading scripts for several years now, but this one really pushed me to make an account and comment on it.

It's really a masterpiece, the dialogue, timing, story, the provocative humor - as a DP I imagined exactly how the scenes look like while reading and it was almost as watching the movie itself. I think with a bit of work that could be rewritten into a full length feature, showing the circumstances leading up to the final event.

That's it, just wanted to congratulate you on the great script and I hope a good dp/director takes this on as its really one of the best scripts I came across here.

George Grant

Yep, Tim's script is a standout.
FYI, we did spotlight it for this reason.

https://www.simplyscripts.com/2023/08/23/silverfish-by-tim-wolfe-available-for-production/

P.S. Nice to know it changed your status, George, from lurker to poster.