The Draughtsman, The Smuggler and The Diamonds by James Shearer - Short, Drama, Crime - Some crimes are worth the risk… 8 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

This was a fun read. While there isn’t actually a story per se, it had a lot of action and I was compelled to continue reading, eager to see what happened next. Similar to The Bird Feeder, it was packed with military operations and procedures like a James Bond flick.

The beginning was informative of the politics behind the setting. It also established the danger of what could happen if the smuggler were caught.

I could see this as the beginning of something bigger. More can happen on the ground. Part of the mission could include rescuing a captured fellow smuggler. I could see a chase scene that included getting picked up by the plane just in time, and the plane having to haul the smugglers aboard, all while dodging small arms gunfire from an enemy aircraft of comparable speed. I know this compromises the stealth of the mission and opens possible plot holes, but it will also open the story to be more than an intriguing, high-tech cash for gems transaction.

Just a thought.

Nonetheless, if this were produced as-is and I was channel surfing, I would be drawn in and watch it.

Quoted from D.A.Banaszak I could see this as the beginning of something bigger.

Funny you say that . . .

This is another short whose origins started elsewhere - and was prompted by Michael Cane whining that no one writes screenplays for actors of his age. I had this idea of an old guy who leaves prison after a long stretch which included sharing a cell with a now deceased petrologist who'd worked in Namibia and knew of a quantity of hidden sea diamonds. Cane's character has to coerce another to get him to the cache. The first 30+ pages are listed on another website.

De Beers now have a fleet of ships hovering the Atlantic seabed, transporting the gems back to the mainland by helicopter, twice a week or so; and that's where the real skulduggery begins.