Welcome, Guest. It is June 30th, 2025, 7:48pm Please login or register.
The primary purpose of the SimplyScripts Discussion Board is the discussion of unproduced screenplays. If you are a producer or director lookng for your next project, the works here are available for option, purchase or production only if you receive permission from the author.
NOTE: these screenplays are NOT in the public domain and MAY NOT be used or reproduced for any purpose (including eductional purposes) without the expressedwrittenpermission of the author.
To The Last Detail by Christina Katsiadakis - Short, Dramedy - A depressed mother finds a rather uncustomary way of making sure her family has nothing to worry about. 11 pages - pdf format
Hi Christina, it's an interesting short story! I'm not sure why Gabriel decided to keep the requested flowers always in stock? Wouldn't that be a high expense for a funeral home after 15 years? I was expecting some kind of a twist in the story but instead she just died after 15 years. M.
Just some little stuff, but it kind of sticks out:
"INT. DAY/ FUNERAL HOME" should be location THEN time of day, for all slugs. eg INT. CAT HOUSE - NIGHT
"ELSA walks in. She is not wearing black, or sunglasses and she looks very tired." Why would you specifically describe what she ISN'T wearing? I know it's a funeral home, but it's better to have "positive" descriptions of what she IS wearing, rather than isn't -- leave no specifics upturned.
"Elsa looks around, nervously playing with the ears of her folder" Ears?
"A couple of days later" - how do we know??
I'm halfway through the script and the words "not customary" etc have been used too many times. We get it, it's a weird request.
I'm stopping here because I'm realizing English isn't your first language and it's not fair. I didn't get into the conceit and the language is too distracting. Please keep practising.