Stephen, you would do well to hone up on Industry Standard Formatting - Michael's comments are correct. Definitely 'do you', but until you've mastered the basics, don't veer into experimentation.
Your scene headings are messy and inconsistent and over complicating things.
For unknown and unestablished screenwriters writing on spec (under speculation that their screenplays will be purchased and produced), overcomplicated and undisciplined script format will mark the end of your chances of a career in screenwriting before decision-makers get past the first few pages. Industry insiders read dozens upon dozens of scripts per week. https://screencraft.org/blog/how-to-format-a-script/I wouldn't go that far because I think if you have a compelling original story (which you do) some readers might bypass your mistakes. However, you'd be well advised to make your screenplay as clean as you can re format to make a good first impression and also so that you don't continue with bad practice.
10 minutes later doesn't belong in a Header.
Likewise, if you write something like
Two Days Later in a script you need a Super on a separate line.
Character names need to be capped on intro.
Your parentheticals are incorrectly formatted.
A parenthetical should appear on its own line, be short, not a complete sentence and only apply to the character speaking. If it is long enough to merit a full sentence, it should be formatted as an action line and vice versa.
Like this:
SAM
(under his breath)
I like your shoes.
https://www.movieoutline.com/articles/10-rules-for-using-parentheticals-in-your-screenplay.htmlContinuous indicates that a scene’s action is ongoing, changing from one setting to the next without a break in time. If there is a break in time it is not a Continuous scene.
The first page to have a number is the second page of the screenplay (the third sheet of paper including the title page), which is numbered 2.
You need a line of description before this line of dialogue:
AMY
St Luke's please Aiden. You have
control.
Even if it's just to mention her putting her seatbelt on. Btw, in this scene this would be good to know.
Remove your footer on each page with title and author.
Consistency with sluglines is crucial. This :
EXT/INT. APARTMENT CAR GARAGE - 10 MINUTES LATER - DAY
Should simply read: INT. GARAGE - DAY.
This one below is unnecessarily complicated.
EXT. A SUBURBAN CROSSROAD JUNCTION - CONTINUOUS - DAY
What exactly are we looking at here? A simple intersection on a suburban road?
INT. AMY'S APARTMENT BEDROOM - MUCH LATER - NIGHT
Suggest: INT. AMY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Much later doesn't belong in that slug. If you want to show she's having trouble sleeping and it's early hours of the morning have her look at a digital clock, or the time on her phone.
O.O.V.
Never seen this before, even in Brit screenplays. Stick to (O.S.)
Establish it's an AI or Chatbot first then treat it like you would any other character. Write his name in dialogue as either Aiden or A.I.D.E.N.
Don't include your phone number on your title page - too many spammers out there, and if someone wants to contact you, email will suffice. Add the copyright symbol (C) and:
All rights reserved.
This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.A tall bearded man, (60s) Add: ELIAS at this point.
Your story is really engaging and very entertaining but I feel you could up the plot in some parts. Your central premise is terrific, but I think more suspense could be added at home as well as in the car - perhaps Aiden is getting his wires crossed in a lot of areas. Its consciousness becoming apparent could be made even scarier. The addition of the German dialogue dragged a bit, though I do like the idea behind it. Why not make the Uncle character her father?
Your final scene with the car in the garage:
EXT. THE FAMILY RESTAURANT - CONTINUOUS - NIGHT
I can't help thinking this should be a Parking lot header.
And...
Eli and Amy exit and walk towards the quiet parking lot. A
car appears at the far end, conspicuously switches off its
headlights, and accelerates towards them.As a film visual the engine roaring to life and the headlights coming on might be more exciting to end on. Jmo.
P.S. I didn't notice typos - a good clean read in this respect.
Though twenty-two minutes should be hyphenated, and be consistent with spelling out numbers: Eight-fifteen.
Some site links you might find helpful:
New Person's Guide to SS.
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-cc/m-1124159895/s-0/Good luck with this. I hope it gets picked up.
Scriptwriting Class
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-screenwrite/Welcome to SS from me as well.