State of Emergency by A. Stern - Thriller - When a desperate mother sets out to find help for her dying son, she's taken hostage by a troubled teen on the run. 92 pages - pdf, format

Read to page 8. First 2-1/2 pages seem like throw away to me. It's backstory that I am sure I don't need to see. The first two and a half minutes (assuming a minute per page but we know how that goes) of a movie mean everything and this first two and a half pages do nothing for what your logline says your story is about. The next few pages are again back story yet I am expecting a sick child.

INT. NURSING HOME - ENTRANCE
Hilary speeds inside. Holds her name tag up for security to see. The GUARD nods as he lets her through.
She reaches the end of the hall where a sign on the wall reads:
STAFF CELLPHONES OFF Hilary silences her phone but leaves it on

This here gave me a sense of urgency but the following scene was not urgent.

Dad stuttering doesn't make him sick. I would write the words to say, as normal people would say them and in the action line tell us he's had a stroke or whatever and his words are slurred as he speaks or he stutters. For me accents, stuttering, and the like, are distracting when written phonetically how you want the actor to speak the words.

Each scene I read seems like a spot to start this script from.

Not engaging enough for me.

Thriller - When a desperate mother sets out to find help for her dying son, she's taken hostage by a troubled teen on the run. 92 pages

Some sense of the character, some sense of the action, no sense of the outcome. It reads pretty straight forward. No irony imbedded in the hook.

BLB