Hi all, I'm looking for feedback on this pilot that I have written for an animated series. Logline: A young farmhand undertakes a quest with his most hated enemy across the land to warn his uncle of a terrifying new threat to their way of life. The King. I would appreciate feedback on the following: My main focus for feedback: Do I have a clear conflict? Does my main character have a character arc? Are my characters compelling? (Not sure how possible this is in a short) How can I add more subtext as I feel what I have written is quite on the nose? Are there any animated scripts you suggest looking at? I struggled to find many to help with character descriptions? As this is a pilot, I wanted to emphasise that some of the main themes for the series were: wanting freedom, being a parent and struggling with your child (And vice versa) , forgiveness, revenge, people pleasing and validation. Do you think these were present in the pilot? I am hoping to cut to the 20/23 minute mark - are there any parts which were particularly uninteresting? Here is a link to the script: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1wXVPVCrX__5Dv2sCPWfuaxVe2h7ajSWO/view?usp=sharing |