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There's a lot going on in this one. Sort of get what's going on, after a couple reads. One of the few that would be well worth an extension. Did pick up on some typos (things like / and - after character names). Good jungle heist caper though. Title fits well with it.
That felt way too big for a short, more like a feature. And that last line confused me as not entirely sure what you were getting at, other than a reference to Paul Simon’s song.
I feel like Digger should have a proper name. I guess his name could actually be Digger, but probably not. It might help this script to add a bit more tension between Al and Digger. If the reader is aware early on that Digger is pulling a con job, it might raise the stakes.
Thank you everyone who read and commented on my script. I know it was a bit of a crash, bang, wallop what a video kinda thing compressed into 5 pages. And like so many comments it was a lot to thin k about.
This screenplay is being written as a feature and I used the song title as a bit of a rush job. The song choice should have been Diamonds On The Soles Of His Shoes, from the same album.
However, I didn't get some comments at all, like-
"Why doesn't digger have a proper name? A. He is a diamond digger - that is not his name. "Why are there two character called Gerald and Carter? A. His name is Gerald Carter. "How/ why would a politician use a rifle? A. Anyone can fire a rifle if they want try
African conflict diamonds are used to prop up armies throughout the world. That is the theme of my screenplay. The difficulty come when you try to tell it.
Well done all.
My Screenplays Two Moons The Deadly Fruit Of Original Sin The Blue Room No Time For Love The Source The Pearl Earring The Bigger The Storm Before She Died