Netflix and Chill by Reed Hastings - A young couple don't quite have the night they expected.  Short, Horror

Good premise, good payoff, WAY overwritten. Stuff like this thrives on being short and sweet. We know where it’s headed as soon as we see the POV onscreen, so just get us there.

Some very funny moments in the writing and some nice little side gags.

Knock this down into a three minute short and I think it’s super produceable and very much something someone would make.

Haha, love your title page.

I think you have a great premise here which I don't think you committed to fully.

Instead of 'similar' I wish you'd chosen identical. That's then a very scary situation.

If only they'd been watching a Halloween movie and were maybe dressed in costume too (for this challenge at least).

A lot to work with here, just have those settings duplicate imho.

Overwritten, but I like what you did.

It actually reminds me of a Black Mirror episode, oddly enough, on Netflix.
No Halloween theme and no major twist or shock at the end.

The story was building, and I was hoping for a carbon copy of what was happening in the room, then it just ended with wine on the crotch

Parameters not there


Good job on entering

This was entertaining enough, and I think quite easy to replicate on video, but there might be a tad too much story building up to the finale. The theme elements were there so, check.  I thought she was gonna be killed by the intruder, the fact it was footage from a previous movie is something I didn’t see coming so kudos. Anyhoo, best of luck.

Ahoy Reed Hastings - ahh, I can remember plenty of nights when we would just kicked back and chill while watching Netflix - until we promptly dropped our subscription like a bad habit!

Ok, all the A/D lines after almost every bit of dialogue really slowed the read, the pacing for me. Ask yourself were most of those descriptions necessary???  Hmmm... as far as the story, a nice concept, I found it a bit amusing and overall liked it - just wasn't inebriated with it. Best of Irish luck! -A

This is a definitely a clever concept but I feel like it could have been handled in about three pages.  I think there’s actually an argument that using practically no dialogue would have almost worked better in this instance and built the suspense even more.  In this case, it seemed like the dialogue was interrupting the flow.

You have an unfilmable in Stevo’s description (how do we know she thinks that about him?) and there was some dialogue that escaped me because I think it’s banter that’s more slang for the area you’re from.  Just nitpicking there - might consider that in a rewrite.

Overall a pretty good story.  Best of luck.

Writer,

So I really, sadly, didn’t get what happened here. I was left very confused by the ending, which was just, well, confusing and didn’t make much sense to me. You have a decent premise here, but that’s where it ended for me. Some more clarity would have helped, because it’s not enough that YOU know what’s going on, but your reader needs to know what’s going on, too. Then again, it could be just me. Good effort, nevertheless.

Steve

Another one I really like!  A horror that ultimately turns comedic - I certainly didn't know what was going to happen until the very end.  Apparently Bea was not at all amused though.  Another one though that merely "shoe-horned" in a Halloween reference, so technically I suppose it meets criteria, but I would have like to have had a little more of that aspect added. All in all though, a good, spooky story with a fun ending (even though I cringed at anyone wasting wine!).  Thanks for sharing!

I love what you created here conceptually, the foundations for really creepy stuff! I think it's been explored in horror a bit but it's still a fresh concept for you to perhaps expand on what you have already.

Yeah, a little over-writing with the character descriptions etc and arguably too many camera directives but I do give you a pass on direction when it comes to horror.

Good stuff, clever idea.

Ok. Just read this and I wasn't ecstatic I'm afraid. Too much prose and not enough screenplay, excluding video scenes. Dialogue far too much. Was she talking to Steve while he was asleep? If not then she was speaking ASIDE.

Not an ALEWIFE in sight. A witches hat and not a fish. Ha!

Was this really Halloween?

One positive note to add is that I reckon there is a narrative here, just needs to be written with more care and precision.

Good luck with this and I hope you can expand the narrative because it is a good one in my honest opinion.

I'm lost. I don't know what to make of it. It comes off as a comedy that intentionally subverts the expectation of a gore ending. While deviating from an expected outcome works well, unfortunately, it's not the case here. The dialogs also don't help. I wish the ending were something different.  

Good luck.

Others have talked about shortening the length but I think the dialogue could be a little better. This reads a little like how an older person thinks young people talk.

Also, I feel like the ending could be a little more climactic. I'm not saying everyone has to die but I feel like there's no payoff.

This was fine, with a good twist. Expecting a conventional horror and got something else, but no complaints.

I laughed when the script opened up on its cover page.

My only advice here is to give these guys a television.  It seems like all of this would be far more effective on a nice, big flatscreen instead of a crummy laptop.

Thematically, this reminded me of the movie Vacancy with Luke
Wilson and Kate Beckinsale from way back when. Stevo should
wake up to help give the story more tension. Why not end with Bea
getting attacked as seen on the laptop screen. A solid story that
needs to move faster and be tighter.

Abe From LA just stated what I was wondering...why didn’t the video become a reality?

I thought it could have been a Netflix Halloween slasher movie that made its way into her apartment and if nothing else instead of the girl in the movie who is stabbed to death...it’s Stevo.

I very much liked the idea of Netflix and Chill.