Normal by Jesson Kinder - Short, Comedy, Horror - A helicopter mom struggles with her son’s burgeoning independence and his troubling secret… 5 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

SPOILERS follow:



Okedoke, a serial killer apprentice and mentor Mom.

Hmm, I don't know that this works as a standalone short. It's not quite enough comedically but is full on horror.

Jack's obviously a little conflicted if he's still wetting the bed.

Teaching him to drive at 14? I suppose that's credible cause of their vocation.

I did find the flashback to Dad being murdered mildly amusing because of the preceding dialogue.

I would not use Italics in your flashbacks.

That's all I got really. Nothing wrong with it as such but I think you could up it a notch in both extremes - comedy and horror.

Thanks so much for checking it out.