Little Red Hoodie by John Stone - Short, Comedy - An unsuspecting Taxi Driver gets more than he bargained for when he picks up a fare. 6 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Hey John,

Funny. I enjoyed this piece. Got a few chuckles out of it. Nice twist at the end.
The dialogue works, simple, effective and funny.

Is it a drama or comedy?

A couple of minor formatting issues and some nit-picks.

I would put "stormy" in Action, not in a slug.
LITTLE RED HODDIE / - remove the "/"
Wrap O.S. in parenthesis (O.S.).
There's an empty page 7.

As a reader it's obvious what transpires at the end, but filmed, we'll not know the driver's name, unless
some ID/Tag is displayed. This might be redundant. It's implied what happened. Your thoughts?

Frank

Frank, Just to clear up soem of your nitpicks:

/ is continued in shorthand.

Page 7 is blank because it's a 6 page short.

O.S or Off Screen is not a parenthetical. It is written after a characters name because we cannot see them.

Cheers buddy.

Don't mean to meddle but Frank is right, John.
Your page 7 is entirely blank and it should come out. At the moment it makes eight pages.
You could also clarify that you use unconventional formatting.

I enjoyed this particular cab caper btw. Left me wanting more which is a good thing.
Seems you have a taxi series going.

Yes I know. It has been. I haven’t uploaded yet. Thanks. for casting your eyes over this one and yes a taxi series may be the way to go.

I like the second installment of what Libby has dubbed “Cab Capers” (brilliant!). I agree that this has promise as a series. I also noted that you included another “surprise” family element at the end, continuing with that theme. Looking forward to more of your Taxi Tales!  

Quoted from kcranford I like the second installment of what Libby has dubbed “Cab Capers” (brilliant!). I agree that this has promise as a series. I also noted that you included another “surprise” family element at the end, continuing with that theme. Looking forward to more of your Taxi Tales!

Thanks Kathy. Jump in and let’s go for a ride.  

This is pretty funny. As I read this, I asked myself, "What would her father think?' Right about then she mentions her father...         and then the hysterical ending.

I can't think of anything to add that hasn't already been mentioned.

Thanks for the read Michael. It’s that DNA thing again.