See it. Say it. Sorted. by John Stone - Short, Comedy - Curiosity killed the cat in this commuter short. 7 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

John, I really enjoyed this one!

At the point that he says: No! Wait!
And on his look (after yet another PSA)... What about if the woman says something like:

WOMAN
I already thought about that, dumbarse!

MAN looks wary.

WOMAN
How many terrorists do you know who would use Emporio Armani?
I mean, Samsonite, maybe...


Or have something like that further up cause first impressions would surely be that the danger factor has occurred them both.

Either way, loved it!

Thanks for the read Libby. Noted.

I love the dialog in this.

I had no idea how it would end until maybe a couple of lines before the end. Even then my thoughts were, "Wouldn't it be crazy if..?" And then it happened.

Nice.

P.S. The title is perfect.

I loved the dialogue too. Spot on!

Quoted from D.A.Banaszak I love the dialog in this. I had no idea how it would end until maybe a couple of lines before the end. Even then my thoughts were, "Wouldn't it be crazy if..?" And then it happened. Nice. P.S. The title is perfect.

There is nothing more satisfying than when other writers get what you're putting out there. So thanks you Michael and Libby for your kind comments.

John, you are basically a fount of these comedic shorts.  I was initially intrigued by the title, because I had no idea what it meant.  Now I get it - I haven't been on a plane or other public transportation in several years, so I'm out of the loop I guess.  This one kept me guessing until the end.  Another nice offering!

Thanks Kathy. Glad enjoyed this one too.

Best