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Author |
Redundant elements in all of these? (currently 498 views) |
Nomad |
Posted: October 4th, 2024, 2:47pm |
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Been Around
LocationSouthern California Posts754 Posts Per Day 0.15 |
INT. MOLLIE'S HOME - SIMON’S BEDROOM - DAY
Posters of Leeds football club adorn the walls. Xbox controllers lie on the floor. Daylight creeps in from the edges of the drawn curtains.
This is how I would write this opening while avoiding saying "bedroom" twice. |
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Reply: 15 - 27 |
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Drongo Bum |
Posted: October 4th, 2024, 5:46pm |
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New
LocationU.S.A. & Japan Posts334 Posts Per Day 3.53 |
Exactly.
It's all about understanding the purpose and function of the different elements. |
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Reply: 16 - 27 |
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Desmond56 |
Posted: October 10th, 2024, 10:34am |
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Posts14 Posts Per Day 0.36 |
Yes Zack. I doubt any of these including LC has ever produced anything. Not with his eye sight. |
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Reply: 17 - 27 |
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JaydenRose |
Posted: October 10th, 2024, 5:09pm |
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Posts17 Posts Per Day 0.56 |
By redundancy, DB means repeated words:
INT. MOLLIE'S HOME - SIMON'S BEDROOM - DAY (SUNDAY) The bedroom is very boyish with posters of Leeds football club. The room in reasonably tidy.
Would just be:
INT. MOLLIE'S HOME - SIMON'S BEDROOM - DAY (SUNDAY) Very boyish, posters of Leeds football club. One might call it reasonably tidy... at least for a teenage boy.
INT. POSH FROCKS FACTORY - FACTORY FLOOR - DAY (MONDAY) The factory has rows of tables with sewing machines. Behind is a room with a door and glass.
INT. POSH FROCKS FACTORY - SEWING FLOOR - DAY (MONDAY) Behind the rows of tables with sewing machines, a DOOR.
Do you understand? |
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Reply: 18 - 27 |
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JaydenRose |
Posted: October 10th, 2024, 5:11pm |
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Posts17 Posts Per Day 0.56 |
Yes Zack. I doubt any of these including LC has ever produced anything. Not with his eye sight. |
Is English your first language? |
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Reply: 19 - 27 |
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Drongo Bum |
Posted: October 10th, 2024, 7:09pm |
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LocationU.S.A. & Japan Posts334 Posts Per Day 3.53 |
I doubt any of these including LC has ever produced anything. |
It just stands to reason. Hey, out of idle curiosity, have you ever read any screenplays besides your own? |
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Reply: 20 - 27 |
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Zack |
Posted: October 10th, 2024, 8:57pm |
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Of The Ancients Show. Don't tell.
LocationKentucky Posts4634 Posts Per Day 0.69 |
Yes Zack. I doubt any of these including LC has ever produced anything. Not with his eye sight. |
LC's a chick, so... |
| Don't get it right. Get it written.
"If you can't handle people not liking what you do, you shouldn't be in the business." - Rob Bowman |
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Reply: 21 - 27 |
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Drongo Bum |
Posted: October 10th, 2024, 11:08pm |
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LocationU.S.A. & Japan Posts334 Posts Per Day 3.53 |
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Reply: 22 - 27 |
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LC |
Posted: October 10th, 2024, 11:40pm |
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Administrator
LocationThe Great Southern Land Posts7982 Posts Per Day 1.36 |
Yeah, I can't for the life of me fathom why people want to defend, deflect, and do anything to win an argument, instead of take on or at least consider advice being given. |
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Reply: 23 - 27 |
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Drongo Bum |
Posted: October 11th, 2024, 12:00am |
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New
LocationU.S.A. & Japan Posts334 Posts Per Day 3.53 |
Yeah, I can't for the life of me fathom why people want to defend, deflect, and do anything to win an argument, instead of take on or at least consider advice being given. |
Don't tell me what to do, LC! You're not the boss of me! |
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Reply: 24 - 27 |
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Matthew Taylor |
Posted: October 11th, 2024, 5:31am |
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Old Timer
LocationShakespeare's county Posts1829 Posts Per Day 0.83 |
Walks into thread
sighs
Walks back out |
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42.2
Two steps to writing a good screenplay: 1) Write a bad one 2) Fix it |
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Reply: 25 - 27 |
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Zack |
Posted: October 11th, 2024, 11:19am |
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Of The Ancients Show. Don't tell.
LocationKentucky Posts4634 Posts Per Day 0.69 |
Wait!
PULLS PANTS UP.
Matt! Come back! |
| Don't get it right. Get it written.
"If you can't handle people not liking what you do, you shouldn't be in the business." - Rob Bowman |
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Reply: 26 - 27 |
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Matthew Taylor |
Posted: October 12th, 2024, 6:15am |
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Old Timer
LocationShakespeare's county Posts1829 Posts Per Day 0.83 |
Wait!
PULLS PANTS UP.
Matt! Come back! |
Just for you zack |
| Feature
42.2
Two steps to writing a good screenplay: 1) Write a bad one 2) Fix it |
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Reply: 27 - 27 |
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