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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  ›  Screenwriting Discussion  ›  Screenwriting Class  ›  Redundant elements in all of these? Moderators: George Willson
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  Author    Redundant elements in all of these?  (currently 1000 views)
Nomad
Posted: October 4th, 2024, 3:47pm Report to Moderator
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INT. MOLLIE'S HOME - SIMON’S BEDROOM - DAY

Posters of Leeds football club adorn the walls. Xbox controllers lie on the floor. Daylight creeps in from the edges of the drawn curtains.


This is how I would write this opening while avoiding saying "bedroom" twice.


Read my scripts here:
SOCIAL EXPERIMENT 8pg-Drama
THE BRIDGE 8pg-Horror
SCHEISSE 6pg-Horror/Comedy
MADE FOR EACH OTHER-FILMED
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Drongo Bum
Posted: October 4th, 2024, 6:46pm Report to Moderator
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Exactly.

It's all about understanding the purpose and function of the different elements.


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Desmond56
Posted: October 10th, 2024, 11:34am Report to Moderator
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Yes Zack. I doubt any of these including LC has ever produced anything. Not with his eye sight.
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JaydenRose
Posted: October 10th, 2024, 6:09pm Report to Moderator
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By redundancy, DB means repeated words:

INT. MOLLIE'S HOME - SIMON'S BEDROOM - DAY (SUNDAY)
The bedroom is very boyish with posters of Leeds football club. The room in reasonably tidy.

Would just be:

INT. MOLLIE'S HOME - SIMON'S BEDROOM - DAY (SUNDAY)
Very boyish, posters of Leeds football club. One might call it reasonably tidy... at least for a teenage boy.

INT. POSH FROCKS FACTORY - FACTORY FLOOR - DAY (MONDAY)
The factory has rows of tables with sewing machines. Behind is a room with a door and glass.

INT. POSH FROCKS FACTORY - SEWING FLOOR - DAY (MONDAY)
Behind the rows of tables with sewing machines, a DOOR.

Do you understand?
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JaydenRose
Posted: October 10th, 2024, 6:11pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Desmond56
Yes Zack. I doubt any of these including LC has ever produced anything. Not with his eye sight.


Is English your first language?
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Drongo Bum
Posted: October 10th, 2024, 8:09pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Desmond56
I doubt any of these including LC has ever produced anything.

It just stands to reason.

Hey, out of idle curiosity, have you ever read any screenplays besides your own?


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Zack
Posted: October 10th, 2024, 9:57pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Desmond56
Yes Zack. I doubt any of these including LC has ever produced anything. Not with his eye sight.


LC's a chick, so...


I like my stories Simple. Straightforward. A to B. No C.



PUMPKIN GUTS -- An undead scarecrow slices and dices pumpkin patch intruders in this punk rock slasher! (76 pages, Horror) -- https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-horror/m-1749240995/
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Drongo Bum
Posted: October 11th, 2024, 12:08am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack
LC's a chick, so...

The thing that makes me laugh the most is the fact this is basically every thread at r/Screenwriting.

        


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LC
Posted: October 11th, 2024, 12:40am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Drongo Bum
The thing that makes me laugh the most is the fact this is basically every thread at r/Screenwriting.
        

Yeah, I can't for the life of me fathom why people want to defend, deflect, and do anything to win an argument, instead of take on or at least consider advice being given.


Short Fuse OWC Writer's Choice
Scooter
Nothing Compares to You
Fatal Distraction
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Drongo Bum
Posted: October 11th, 2024, 1:00am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC
Yeah, I can't for the life of me fathom why people want to defend, deflect, and do anything to win an argument, instead of take on or at least consider advice being given.

Don't tell me what to do, LC!

You're not the boss of me!


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Matthew Taylor
Posted: October 11th, 2024, 6:31am Report to Moderator
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Walks into thread

sighs

Walks back out


Feature

42.2

Two steps to writing a good screenplay:
1) Write a bad one
2) Fix it
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Zack
Posted: October 11th, 2024, 12:19pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Wait!

PULLS PANTS UP.

Matt! Come back!


I like my stories Simple. Straightforward. A to B. No C.



PUMPKIN GUTS -- An undead scarecrow slices and dices pumpkin patch intruders in this punk rock slasher! (76 pages, Horror) -- https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-horror/m-1749240995/
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Matthew Taylor
Posted: October 12th, 2024, 7:15am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack
Wait!

PULLS PANTS UP.

Matt! Come back!


Just for you zack


Feature

42.2

Two steps to writing a good screenplay:
1) Write a bad one
2) Fix it
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