This was crisp. I also felt like it had a Twilight Zone feel to it.

You did a great job of projecting the unfairness of life through the story.

Quick read, straight to the point and I liked the Utopian-type society.
I just wanted to see more people and their badges to solidify what I'm
assuming is their departure date, whatever that might mean.
Travis is disgruntled, which seems to go against the societal grain.
Not sure why. Maybe he is an independent thinker and prone to
questions rules and regulations. Or maybe he slept through the zoom
meeting and is now catching up.
Life isn't fair, but if our death dates were accessible, how many would
choose to access this information? Food for thought.
Nothing more to offer than to say I enjoyed the read.

Writer, I can’t be sure because I didn’t look up the song, but it seems you wrote your script to the actual lyrics. And I kinda liked it, even though I didn’t really know exactly what was happening, yet somehow I did. I know. Crazy. Good work tho.

Steve

What a great last line: "longer." That's the best final line of any of these scripts. Nice concise dialogue. I like this, but I feel like there should be a bit more. Hard to say what.

Writer,

This was a fast read.   I took it as a Syfy spin on how unfair life is.  Having Kira disappear first adds to the tension at the end.    His last line made it hit home.  Yours is another song I've never heard of.  After listening to it, I think it fits well with your story.  Good job.