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Poutine Hell by R5e (Gum) writing as Anonymous, three - Short, Comedy - An innocent Chad becomes the scapegoat for a crappy shenanigan. 10 pages - pdf format
I clicked on the script link and was immediately faced with a picture. It put a smile on my face even though I had no idea what poutine was. I googled it and I have to say it sounds absolutely disgusting! Now I was ready to read the script and was in the right mood for what I was about to read. I thought it was funny! What made it funny was not one big joke, but rather all the smaller details peppered throughout. In my mind, you did a good job and I can clearly see you have a knack for comedy.
Even though it didn't really made me laugh or chuckle, it was interesting to read someone's take on the bowels matter. And everyone likes a bowl of tasty fries. Ketchup or not.
Ahoy writer - off the top of the bat, humor is a subjective thing so I dunno, I'm sure there's a portion of the sane world that will laugh, crude humor can be funny, but most of the jokes here fall flat for me. I mean yes, it's breezy, and moves well, excellently written, but it felt.. gimmicky... I think that's the word I'm grasping for.
Despite my misgivings, one of the better entries - for us it all comes down to the parameters. Best of Irish luck! _ghostie gal
So I chose this as my first read. The reason? I had no utter idea what the term "Poutine" meant. After a Google search, I'm now sorry I know. Yuk, guess you have to be Canadian? Anyway, I have to say that you had me at the opening slug:
INT. COMMUNITY CENTER - NIGHT Empty hallway, late evening. A sign reads: “Procrastinators Anonymous - Room: 101” A crude banner plastered over that: “Held over till further notice”
This is golden. Started my read off with a big laugh. Fortunately, that was just the first of many laughs (in between kind of gagging a couple of times). This is well written with great comic timing and some really great one-liner type dialogue. I think I may have seen a couple typos but don't remember what or where they were because I was compelled to keep reading on.
So this one gets two thumbs up from me. I would call it "grossly" hilarious. Congrats on producing a "sh*tty" script for the OWC!
Kathy
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Funny in a kind of funky, gross way. Chad is one troubled dude. Everybody is so cynical and wrecked. I have to admit to chuckling now and again at the way Samantha and Cindy treat Chad. Having IBS on top of it, in a world where Sprite is illegal and Chili Putin has Vladimir as its Face of the Franchise, no wonder it's a powder keg waiting to blow. The humor isn't bad, but I think it's more an acquired taste. This story leaves skid marks across every page. Good luck.
And I thought I was the only one who appreciates fart humor, but this take air to a different level altogether! A fun, quick read. Hits all the parameters, and entertaining. Love the way you did the cut to’s with Samantha and Chad. Overall, maybe not my favorite, but a fun ride in the hands of a good writer.
I knew what Poutine was cause it featured in one of those travel shows and the Aussie reporter had his first taste - he said he loved it. Well, he would wouldn't he?
When I glanced at your title at first I actually confused Poutine with Poitín (potcheen) that's Irish moonshine if you're not aware, like firewater. Anyway I digress
The IBS banter was amusing - almost turning into The Argument Room and you had nice little touches of humour sprinkled throughout. Incidentally I have no idea what I thought Chad's occupation was going to be but it wasn't cook or kitchen-hand at a diner. And I was also surprised (and grateful) that you didn't veer further than you did into gross-out territory. I was bracing myself and expecting way worse.
Points for a good twist. Never trust a Gypsy woman on a dark street. While I expected a little bit more of a punchline at the end, it wasn't bad.
Your writing was an absolute breeze to read. You clearly know how to engage a reader and you have a gift for storytelling, even when it's not exactly the type of thing I'd be a big fan of.